by Lord Malinov
Reggie rapped on the door.
“Come in,” commanded Carl.
“I just saw the new blonde, the one who moved in over there.” Reggie indicated direction with the nod of his head. “She was looking fine,” he said in obvious understatement.
“Yeah. I did her.”
“Seriously. Last Friday night.”
“Is this all the beer you have?”
“Shit, I forgot to tell you to bring some.”
“Tell Mark. He said he was coming over later.”
“I was going to go clubbing with Mark on Friday, but then blondie came over.”
“She did not.”
“I was watching some vids and she knocked on the door. I was like what the hell but when I opened the door she was standing there, looking all kinds of fine.”
“You mean you fell asleep and dreamed she came knocking.”
“Maybe. She asked me over for dinner. I followed her back to her place and she served me a pasta fish thing with carrots and stuff and wine.”
“Sounds fancy. She fixed a big dinner and then invited you over when it was ready.”
“Doesn’t that sound strange to you?”
“I’ll bet she fixed dinner for a date who cancelled on her. That would make sense.”
“I just thought she fixed too much food, looked over and saw my light on so asked me over. Good neighbor stuff. My grandmother was like that. She’d make these huge dinners and then invite the neighbors over until it was gone.”
“Right. Sounds exactly right,” Reggie sneered.
“The food was great. I made ready to leave because I was planning on going out with Mark.”
“Did you text him?”
“I called him later.”
“No, did you text him about the beer?”
“Oh, yeah. She said ‘Let’s have a drink before dessert,” so I went and sat down in her living room. She handed me a fancy drink and then slipped off for a bit. I put on the television and started watching some program. It was weird. She came back wearing this sexy lacy thing.”
“You lie, you liar.”
“No, I swear. You wouldn’t believe how good she looked.”
“I believe that part.”
“Why would I lie about this?”
“You lie about everything. Like when Jessica sucked your dick while you were driving.”
“Maybe she did but she didn’t pour baby oil on your dick and then suck it. No one is going to suck on baby oil. And where’s the stain on your car seat? Baby oil would stain the shit out of your seat.”
“How did she lick your balls while you drove? I’ve been in your car. It’s not physically possible.”
“Of your make-believe sex stories?”
“They’re good stories. You should try to enjoy more. A good story is a good time.”