Literary Fiction
by Lord Malinov

“What’s weird is that so many guys are under the mistaken impression that good sex involves little more than stamina. They advertise themselves as being ready to pound for hour without stopping but the reality is that there are very few women who want that kind of jackhammer action. A few sex-starved desperate housewives, sure, but most women, most people, are ready to quit fucking before even a half-hour has gone by. Variety is so important to good sex.”

“That will never be my problem. Twenty minutes of pussy licking and three minutes of coitus are all I’m really good for.”

“You know the problem with cunnilingus?”

“There’s a problem?”

“Head for a man is less intimate than intercourse. Head for a woman is more intimate.”

“Hold up, wait a second, head meaning what? Say fellatio and cunnilingus.”

“Okay, point taken, fellatio is less intimate than sex is for a man. The problem is that cunnilingus is more intimate than sex for a woman. When you add in the automatic twenty percent fear factor for any woman sleeping with a new man, your eagerness to go downtown will be met with something close to panic. “

“No kidding?”

“A real percentage won’t ever let any tongue near the holiest of holies. The biggest part of womankind won’t want you lick their cunts until familiarity has allowed them to be comfortable enough to enjoy it. So telling women you want to lick pussy will mostly just scare away new prospects.”

“How am I ever going to get laid then?”

“Don’t get me wrong; there’s a real percentage of woman who crave head. You just have to find them.”

“Sure. I can do that.”

“The other problem with cunnilingus is that if you advertise the fact that you want to eat them out, women will assume it is because you have no penis, or at least no skills in using said cock. An overgeneralization on their part, perhaps, but a fair one. Most guys who love to give head have no dick at all. It isn’t called eunuch sex for nothing.”

“So it’s a life of celibacy for me.”

“Probably for the best.”


About David Cain

David Cain, literary author, bon vivant, rogue romantic poet - author of Witch, Song of Songs, Journals of Lord Malinov, Erotic Romances and others ...
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